But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
