I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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