I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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