can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
