They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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