at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
