I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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