That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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