fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
