if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
