Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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