You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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