Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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