THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
