This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
