return my video game
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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