if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
