Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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