i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
