bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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