dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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