before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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