In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
