I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
