oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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