i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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