By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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