If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
