so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
