covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there's paper in my vomit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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