You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
