i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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