you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
