GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
