i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
