i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
