Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
