Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
