Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
