Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
