Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
