Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
