i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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