Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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