I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
