just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
