Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
two words...techno handjob
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
