we're chasing vodka with high fives
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
