Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
