Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
